I am an independent woman.
A 21st century working mother, juggling between her job, her kids,… and her house
I never wanted to rely on my parents (/-in-law) for any of those aspects. Because I consider them my responsibility, because I want to preserve my beloved privacy, because I am proud.
Anyway, this week I asked my mother-in-law three things I never thought I would : to take care of my laundry, to keep Ruben while I am not working all day… and to stay for a glass of rosé ;-).
Some have their parents taking care of the kids after school, some even never let them go to the daycare. Some eat every evening their mother’s spaghetti/soup/carbonades… Some leave their laundry in the kitchen on their weekly visit.
Others chose not to, others don’t have a choice.
Is it my (bad) temper, my liberal education…?
I consider the daily tasks as consequences of leaving my parents’ home to “make” one of my own, and any help about them as an invasion of privacy, a disregard of my role of adult, spouse and mother (yes I realise how old-fashioned it sounds).
I have been fighting for like centuries for those principles with my always-ready-to-help mother-in-law.
I guess she considers it her duty to keep assisting her grown up children and somewhere she is right that life is not always easy for a ‘young’ family nowadays.
But to me, and without any kind of judgment towards people benefiting from their parents’ help, to me thus, it just doesn’t feel right.
So, what on earth made me forget my sacred principles this week?
Don’t worry, I have some very suitable excuses : a defective washing machine, almost 6 months of every-two-hours nightly interrupted sleep, a tough week at work, the one month summer closing of the daycare…
But the point is, I understood I needed help. And (thanks God) she was there.
So I had an undisturbed afternoon nap and finally felt fresh and relaxed.
And when my parents-in-law brought back Ruben and a laundry basket full of perfectly ironed shirts and dresses, I heard myself asking them if they could keep him on Thursday as well, as I have some work to do.
Usually I would have done it during Ruben’s nap, or in the evening. Usually it wouldn’t have been an issue. Usually I manage.
But right now, it has all been a bit too much. And even though I really want things to stay the way they were, it felt good to ask for help, it felt good to receive it. And I am grateful.
Because sometimes you better let go.